Fearless and Fabulous: 10 Powerful Strategies for Getting Anything You Want in Life by Cara Alwill Leyba is the kind of manifesto needed for women too fearful to take chances that will better their lives. With stories from other women, Cara manages to provide plenty of examples of women overcoming their fears and making their lives work for them, just as they imagined. This book is the perfect mantra to remind yourself every day to be fearless and fabulous.
While I'd argue this entire book could have been crammed into a single blog post, having a book like this on hand with passages highlighted and notes written in the margins is helpful for the women out there who need it. I was able to filch this book at a time when she was giving away all of her books for free--so I stocked up on all of her works. As a struggling entrepreneur myself, I needed this reminder to remain fearless. I needed this reminder that I'm struggling for a reason, and that everyone struggles in the beginning.
Getting clients isn't easy. When I was first hired on as a trainer, I was hoping to have a full book of clients within a few weeks. Nothing is ever that easy, but Cara reminded me that I chose this route for my own personal satisfaction because I know getting a traditional 9-5 will not make me feel fulfilled.
So even if you're already out there being fearless and trying to be fabulous, sometimes you need a book like this to tell you to keep being fearless, to continuously step out of your comfort zone and do things that scare you or make you otherwise nervous. This book simply reminded me of moments when I forced myself out of that zone.
I'm an ambivert by nature, someone who is both introverted and extroverted, depending on the situation. I love social situations, but I don't know how to put myself out there. I want people to know who I am, but I'm always hesitant about approaching people myself. I have no issues with talking someone's ear off if they talk to me first. Otherwise, I'm more of a smile-hello-how-are-you person and leave it at that.
Reading this book has made me yearn to do so much more than simply sit back and wait and hope for my client book to fill itself.
On my first floor shift at the YMCA, I had a goal of introducing myself to 5-10 people. I managed to introduce myself to 10 people. It was a lot of work. It took being fearless. Even so, I had to continually remind myself that I wasn't out on the floor to sell training to anyone. Selling isn't required at this particular YMCA. Prior to the YMCA, I had been in sales for almost four years. All of my interactions with people were to always get something, which is probably why I get nervous about introducing myself to people. Sales was never in me. I always have this nagging feeling that people are questioning my motives when I approach them, tell them my name, and let them know I'm one of the new trainers.
What's interesting is that meeting 10 brand new people didn't result in anything negative. They were all very positive toward me. In fact, one woman said she wasn't used to people talking to her during her workout. Yet, she was just sitting on the bench press, I sensed she was approachable, and I took that opportunity. I've learned a little bit about her as a result, like she used to bench press 100 lbs., but because of a dreadful shoulder injury, and resulting surgery, she's had to really cut back to just 60 lbs. Despite her frustration, she's in the gym almost about every day. I hope to bench press 100 lbs. one day soon, and I hope to keep being as active as she is at her age. I even let her know that I admire her.
Sure, these 10 people may never become my clients. That isn't the point. The point of that little exercise was to force myself out of my comfort zone and get myself known around the gym as an expert, someone members can come to if they have questions. In short, I want to eventually get myself so known around the gym that people understand I'm an expert in my field--and no one questions it.
Now I'm trying to gather the courage to introduce myself to people in group classes since floor shifts are sparse for trainers. This in itself is challenging for reasons I have yet to discover. I've done three so far: full-body strength training, yoga, and a cycling class. In all three, I've been relatively silent, though I did let everyone in the yoga class know I was one of the new trainers--only because the teacher asked if there was anyone new. Tomorrow I plan to do a step cardio HIIT class. Maybe I'll gather the courage then to introduce myself to a few people. Who knows? Regardless, I'll have to eventually force myself out of my box again to make things happen.
I'm learning that life is at its richest when you're scared and you learn to overcome your fears. It sounds silly, but I was with my mom shopping at Sam's a week or two ago, and she noticed an elderly woman unloading her cart by herself. She brought up the idea that perhaps I should ask her if she needed help. My mom then offered to ask herself. However, I decided to go on ahead and ask the woman myself. She declined, though she thought the offer sweet and gave me a hug.
This doesn't sound like a risk. In fact, this is just common courtesy. But when you wonder if she would take it as an insult if you asked her to help her, you kind of realize it is another means of eradicating irrational fears when you nonetheless offer your help.
It's doing little things like this, every single day that can put you on your way to being both fearless and fabulous.
There is so much more I want to do beyond the walls of the gym. I want to go to the mall and meet new people. I want to do more things around Augusta to meet more people. I want to get to a point where stepping outside of my box is more natural than remaining in it. This is going to take an intense amount of work. Doing so will give me the life that I want.
Are you fearful at the moment? How do you plan to change that? What are some moments where you've been fearless? I'd love to hear your stories in the comments!
ACE Certified Personal Trainer, NSCA Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist, nutrition coach, young adult author, moody ballerina.
I help people perform without pain.
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The views expressed on this blog are entirely my own. Any advice I offer is not to be taken as medical advice. If you think you have contraindications to exercise, please see your physician before implementing any sample workout plans I present on this blog.
All images are either my own, from Canva, or Creative Commons